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When was the last time you did a reality check on the state
of your heart? Paul Tripp, author of Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to
Parenting Teens, has written another book that is sure to cut to the heart
of relationships. It is a book about the words we use to communicate. Though
numerous studies show that much of communication is non-verbal, words are at the
core. Hence the words we use, and how we use them, are vital links in the
communication chain.
Tripp points out that of all God’s creatures we are the
only ones to communicate with words. Of course this is no new revelation. But
the way we use words does reveal, and strike at the heart of, who we are. James
3 says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we
curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come
praise and cursing. My brothers this should not be.” Therein lies our problem.
That which is supposed to set us apart from the rest of creation as image
bearers of God is often that which reveals things about us that we would rather
not know.
Throughout the book Tripp reminds us that words are
important and significant because God gives them significance. Yet sin
constantly distorts our words so that often the message intended is not the
message received. And often the message intended is not God honoring in the
first place. In a day when postmodernists tell us that words have no real
meaning and can mean whatever we choose, we are doubly challenged to speak
redemptively.
Tripp uses four fundamentals to state the purpose of this
book: the way our words relate to God’s plan for us, sin’s alteration of that
plan, the restoring grace in Christ, and seeing how to get from where we are to
where God, according to His Word, wants us to be. With an easy-to-read style
that reflects honesty and personal struggles, Tripp writes pointedly about how
the Gospel can change the way we understand and solve communication problems.
Some section headings include: God speaks, Satan speaks,
the incarnate Word, First things first, Wining the war of words, and Choosing
our words. I was particularly impressed with the section “Idol Words.” No, that
is not a typo. Tripp suggests that many of our words are idol words. They reveal
what is in our hearts, which is often a self-love, which manipulates and
controls others, rather than redemptive words which seek to serve and love
others.
Each page calls us to repentance, and each chapter ends
with a personal application section. You will find excellent thoughts on
repentance and on how to deal with the things that hinder God’s working through
our words. The book reminds us that words can destroy or they can build up.
There is definitely a war of words for each of us as we fight sin and the
tendency to negate God’s intention through our speech. I was personally
convicted by this book, and I like the way Tripp reminds us of the importance of
communicating in a way that promotes the “Spirit’s work of grace in our lives
and others.”
There is a solution for what happened in the Garden of
Eden, the entrance of sin, and the devastation of vertical and horizontal
relationships. The solution is in Christ, His redeeming, forgiving, and
restoring grace, and His gift of the Holy Spirit who reminds us and enables us
to reflect our King Jesus in every word that we speak. Tripp closes by reminding
us that the tongue will serve the master to which the heart is already
committed. If Christ is our master, then even in the face of provocation the
words we choose will be those of truth, love, restraint, grace, and forgiveness.
“The war of words is only won when God rules our hearts so that we gladly and
consistently speak for him.”
War of Words blends together common sense and
biblical truth within a theological framework that reminds us that communication
is an ongoing process—both the doing and the learning—and gives us hope for
better things. Families could benefit by reading it together. Individuals and
groups will also gain much by studying the book.
- Charles Dunahoo, CEP Coordinator
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